May 11, 2013

Mother and Child

"The influence of a mother on her child is like the air around him, invisible, but supreme in its power and importance. Even without words, a mother's outlook on life will naturally be communicated to her child and influence him."


by ~dloraas

The mothers of this world deserve the greatest respect because they have the greatest power and responsibility- that of bringing forth and nurturing new life. The well-being of each family member, every society or nation, even the entire world, ultimately lies on their shoulders. I wish to congratulate all mothers struggling to raise children- your precious work is actually creating the greatest possible value. I hope you take great pride in what you are doing.

Through contact with their mothers, children can learn how to bear up under difficult circumstance. They also develop the ability to tell right from wrong and the courage to stand up fo what is right. Children watch everything their mother does. If a child sees her mother telling a lie, and thinking nothing of it, that becomes his/her first lesson in how to be a skillful liar. On the other hand, if their mother is a always forward-looking and lively, though they may never win material wealth or social status, children will inherit the most valuable treasure- a spiritual strength that can never be broken, Such inner fortitude is what determines whether a child will lead a life of happiness or unhappiness.

And generally speaking, the more difficult her family's circumstances become, the stronger the mother is. If the mother is strong, her family will invincible, regardless of the hardships they face.

In The Grapes of of Wrath, John Steinbeck's famous novel about a family who travel westward across the United States in search of work during the Great Depression of the 19030s, the author describes the indestructible strength of  "Ma," the mother of the family. father asks of the move to the west, "can we, Ma?" She replies firmly, "It ain't 'can we?"- it's "will we?' As far as  'can', we can't do nothin', not go to California or nothin'; but as far as 'will,' why we'll do what we will."

The Grapes of Wrath

The land of their dreams turns out to be overcrowded with families desperate for jobs, and the family suffers a series of tragedies. Steinbeck describes ma's refusal to give up as follows: "Her hazel eyes seemed to have experiences all possible tragedy and to have mounted pain and suffering likes steps into a high calm and superhuman understanding." She let her soul shine though, like the sun high above dark clouds of suffering. "and since old Tom and the children could not know  hurt or fear unless she acknowledged hurt and fear she practiced  denying them in herself." So she conquered herself first, never being  impatient or complaining.

When the sun is obscured, so is the whole world. But when the sun smiles, the whole world sighs with relief. A mother is truly like the sun warning everyone, often suffering on behalf of others and even regarding doing so as a joy.

However, I do not feel it is always right to praise the showering of a mother's selfless, sometimes overpowering love on a child. Some mothers, because of their strong, blind love, indulge their children's wishes too much and in the end spoil them. What was originally meant for the child's happiness may actually make him/her miserable later on, as he/she will struggle to adjust once he/she interacts with other people, realizing that he/she is not the center of the world. Sometimes gentleness needs to be paired with discipline of a mother is to teach her child how to be truly human.

My Mom and I

An ancient Chinese tale describes how the mother of a powerful general scolded her son who had come home in triumph from battle. She refused to let him int her home. Through a messenger she scolded him. saying, "What have you done? Your soldiers were poorly fed while you were eating luxurious dinners. You sent people to die in battle while you sat in comfort in the General's chair. You may have won the battle, but your leadership was false. You are not my son.. I will not let you enter my house." Fortunately he listened to his mother's powerful words and developed into a stronger and wiser leader who cared for his people.

No matter how busy a woman is with work, household chores and parenting, it is also important never to neglect one's own growth as a human being. Children are looking for examples in parents, people they can respect and look up to. Hence, a mother's own inner development is a lifelong process that should not be forgotten. Effective mothers are not mothers who gain satisfaction from having sacrificed their lives for their children. Effective mothers are those who continue to polish and improve themselves.

A woman who has lost awareness of herself as an individual and has no desire to grow may be thanked for all she's dine, but her ability to inspire respect from her children will be limited. A mother's way of living- her character- is the most treasure she can give her children.

Almost every mother has loving arms and a brave heart, but what counts is how broad her outlook is. Only a woman who has love of justice and a desire for peace will have the courage and confidence to treat everyone with affection, and be able to raise children with a strong spirit, creativity and broad-mindedness. 

And when women extend their motherly love, not only to heir own children but also to the whole society, and they unite with others mothers to speak out against the wrongs in society, I believe they will start to change the world,

i would like to share some lines from a poem of mine, called 'Salute to Mothers'

Salute to Mothers

you are sublime
noble, indomitable.

You are gentle
yet stronger than anyone.
Always smiling,
you can be engaging or

And while you
may appear child-like
you are a perceptive student of live
with a doctoral degree
in daily living

Through suffering, joy or sadness,
you always create a realm
of ease and comfort.

You are a brilliant physician in
healing the heart's wounds.

Your own heart
is deeper than the ocean,
with your open, truth-seeing eyes, your warm, familiar smile.

Forging bonds of joy
with everyone you meet,
you engage in compassionate
fight for human rights, for peace,
always advancing
one further step towards a better world.
no one can match or better you-
not the famous
not the politically powerful.

Completely unconcerned
by your lack of wealth,
your smile, serene and unperturbed.

You prepare your simple fare,
laughing, praising yourself,
'Better then the best restaurant!"
You celebrate cramped housing as
more efficient and easier to clean!'

When people slander, you know
who is a liar
who is a hypocrite
who is driven by jealously.
Your powers of perception
are unrivaled by
any prosecuting attorney.

never submitting
to the power of authority
or malicious lies,
you are a mother
of truth and justice.

To you, my gratitude.
To you, my most
profound respect.

Daisaku Ikeda
Mirror Weekly

No comments: