Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts

Jul 1, 2013

Mistaking Arrogance for Confidence Part One

Nichiren Daishonin was often condemned by his contemporaries as “an extremely arrogant priest”.

Nichiren Daishonin was often condemned by his contemporaries as “an extremely arrogant priest” for his confidence as a votary of the Lotus Sutra to “fulfill the Buddha’s predictions and reveal the truth of his words” (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, pp. 400–01). Just as the Daishonin’s confidence was misconstrued as arrogance, we may be inclined to mistake our arrogance for confidence and others’ confidence for arrogance. One of the five delusive inclinations, arrogance is considered in the Buddhist tradition both as a hindrance to enlightenment and as a cause for suffering. For this reason, mistaking arrogance for confidence is likely to set off the downward spiral of delusion and suffering. The fine line between arrogance and confidence, therefore, must be redrawn more clearly to distinguish happiness from delusion.

Arrogance is to judge one’s self-worth by comparison with others

The first of the seven types of arrogance, which are enumerated in some Buddhist scriptures, points to the essential quality of arrogance—“to think that one is superior to those inferior to oneself and that one is equal to one’s equals” (The Soka Gakkai Dictionary of Buddhism, p. 579). Why is this arrogance? Isn’t it just telling it like it is? What is implied here is that arrogance is essentially our inclination to judge our self-worth by comparing ourselves with others.

Certain comparisons between oneself and others may be objectively true—such as income, IQ or physical appearance. But if we constantly judge our self-worth through comparison with others in whatever standards chosen, we are becoming arrogant. Of course, this is not to deny some merits that comparison and competition bring to our lives—such as motivation for improvement and an opportunity for self-reflection.

Moreover, the correct assessment of our circumstances through comparison is essential to improving our lives. In fact, those living in isolation or unwilling to learn from others are arrogant. Comparison with others becomes a cause for our concern when it becomes a sole measure for judging our existence. Put simply, if we start thinking of our lives as happy or unhappy, meaningful or meaningless, solely based on comparison with others, we may as well consider ourselves as arrogant.

Arrogant people feel good about themselves only through affirming their superiority to others. Our sense of superiority is always relative to whom we are compared with and never constant because of our own changing circumstances. False confidence based on superiority, therefore, easily turns into a feeling of inferiority and self-disparagement, like a millionaire feeling poor among billionaires, a Ph.D. feeling foolish among Nobel laureates or a healthy person feeling overweight among supermodels. This is why false humility or self-disparagement is considered as arrogance in Buddhism. (See the nine types of arrogance in The Soka Gakkai Dictionary of Buddhism, p. 457.) Put another way, arrogance and self-disparagement are two sides of the same coin; we cannot have one without the potential for the other.

Genuinely confident people, on the other hand, feel great about themselves without comparing themselves with others. Such people are aware of some intrinsic personal strength or merit worthy of praise and respect. Confident people can put into perspective their ups and downs of life in this society driven by comparison and competition. Their missed promotion or lost love does not spell out their failure as a human being. Their financial success or academic achievement does not make them superior to their peers. So long as they continue to be aware of their innate positive quality and strive to cultivate it, people will remain confident regardless of their external circumstances. And Buddhism teaches that the most reliable source of confidence is our innate Buddha nature.

Arrogance is egotism; confidence is altruism

What clearly distinguishes the arrogant from the confident is whether or not they desire and act for others’ happiness greater than their own. Arrogant people are keenly aware that their self-esteem depends upon their superiority to others. So they often take delight in pitying the less fortunate since they can reaffirm their superior status by doing so.

The “kindness” of the arrogant, however, extends only so far as it supports their self-importance; it continues as long as the less fortunate remain less fortunate. Precisely for this reason, the arrogant cannot will and act for the supreme happiness of others because they fear it would only diminish their own happiness. This explains why it is often easier to feel ambiguous pity for our underpaid coworkers than to share their joy over their sudden promotion. One’s loss must be another’s gain—this is the basic assumption of life held by the arrogant who cannot stop comparing their fortune with that of others.

Confidence, on the other hand, makes genuine altruism possible. Since confident people’s self-worth does not depend upon others, they are free to care for others and fight for their happiness with the hope that it exceeds even their own. In fact, the confident see their contribution to others’ happiness as proof of their expanding humanity and as a source of great joy.

Confidence is to appreciate oneself even in the worst possible state.
In the late winter of 1272, Nichiren Daishonin wrote with his numbing hand: “I, Nichiren, am the richest man in all of present-day Japan. I have dedicated my life to the Lotus Sutra, and my name will be handed down in ages to come” (WND, 268). A reformer who had challenged the corrupt religious authority of his day, the Daishonin was exiled, after the failed execution, to a remote northern island of Japan, expected to die naturally or to be murdered. Destitute, he was living in a hut in a field scattered with abandoned corpses, and everything pointed to his approaching death into oblivion.

These words, however, clearly express the Daishonin’s confidence that he gave his life to the spread of the essential teaching of Buddhism, that is, the universality of Buddhahood. His life meant something for him, although it seemed to have come to nothing. When he lost everything, he gained one thing that mattered most—indomitable confidence that all people, no matter how miserable they may appear, have the supreme potential of Buddhahood.

Through his own example, Nichiren Daishonin demonstrated that confidence need not depend on possession or circumstances. Genuine confidence is to love and praise ourselves even in the worst possible state, not for how we appear to others, but for what we are in the innermost of life.

(Originally published in the World Tribune, March 7, 2003)

Mistaking Arrogance for Confidence Part Two

Arrogance is insecurity; confidence is peace of mind
 
The difference between arrogance and confidence also shows in our emotional state. Arrogance makes us insecure whereas confidence gives us peace of mind. The more arrogant we become, the more keenly we feel the dependence of our happiness upon the misfortune and weakness of others. This ironic dependence makes the seeming confidence of the arrogant increasingly insecure. The more they bolster this false self-confidence on the outside, the less secure they become inside; so the ‘happiness’ of the arrogant is self-consuming.

Arrogance is needy; confidence is free

As mentioned earlier, confident people are deeply aware that they derive their confidence from strengthening their innate qualities and need not depend on others. So the more confident people are, the more peaceful they will be with both themselves and others. Even in disagreement or when pointing out the errors of others, confident people can remain calm and open-minded. Since they need not defend their self-worth by ‘winning’ in the argument, confident people can stay focused on the merits of different views and opinions without becoming hurtful toward others.

Nichiren Daishonin, for example, wrote from exile, “Whatever obstacles I might encounter, so long as persons of wisdom do not prove my teachings to be false, I will never yield!” (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, p. 280). His vow to be steadfast in his belief comes with the condition—“so long as persons of wisdom do not prove my teachings to be false.” This was an expression of the unruffled openness of the confident, not of the blind obstinacy of the arrogant.

Think about how people behave at work. Unlike an arrogant manager who takes any suggestion as a personal criticism and everyone in the office as a potential threat, a confident manager takes even personal criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection and further improvement. The inner state of an arrogant person is constantly agitated, waiting for any opportunity to assert a sense of superiority. But the inner state of a confident person absorbs even an untoward event like a pebble tossed into a bathtub, as opposed to a wineglass.

As it is clear now, arrogance is not “too much” confidence. The essential difference between arrogance and confidence is not one of quantity or degree, but of quality and origin. Arrogance is needy and dependent on others, derived from comparison with the external. Confidence is free and independent of others, found and cultivated in the self.

‘Absolute superiority’ is a dangerous illusion

Mistaking arrogance for confidence distorts our view of humanity—the way we relate to others and ourselves. Such misconception spells out only tragic suffering for individuals and society. Long before his rise to power, Adolf Hitler wrote: “Self-confidence must be inculcated in the young national comrade from childhood on. His whole education and training must be so ordered as to give him the conviction that he is absolutely superior to others” (Mein Kampf, trans. Ralph Manheim, p. 411).

The epitome of arrogance, Hitler mistook the illusion of “absolute superiority” as supreme confidence. He debased education, turning it from a vehicle of equality and happiness into a cogwheel in the evil machinery of discrimination and destruction. Education must teach confidence, not arrogance. Likewise, Buddhist learning is to strengthen our faith in the inherent Buddha nature of others and ourselves, not to promote elitism among believers.

Nichiren Daishonin was well aware of the danger of judging one’s self-worth through comparison with others. The Daishonin, therefore, admonished his disciples: “When you look at those of superior capacity, do not disparage yourself. The Buddha’s true intention was that no one, even those of inferior capacity, be denied enlightenment. Conversely, when you compare yourself with persons of inferior capacity, do not be arrogant and overproud. Even persons of superior capacity may be excluded from enlightenment if they do not devote themselves wholeheartedly” (WND, 62).

Here the Daishonin explains that one’s potential for enlightenment is in no way diminished by one’s capacity to understand Buddhism since all people are equally endowed with supreme Buddhahood. What is most important for our happiness is to believe in this intrinsic potential shared by all people. Our tendency to compare our capacity with that of others will only lead us astray from genuine happiness.

Nichiren Daishonin, therefore, urges us to win over our arrogance in order to enjoy authentic happiness: “Now, if you wish to attain Buddhahood, you have only to lower the banner of your arrogance, cast aside the staff of your anger, and devote yourself exclusively to the one vehicle of the Lotus Sutra” (WND, 58–59). Here the Daishonin indicates the close relationship between arrogance and anger. T’ien-t’ai, a 6th-century Chinese Buddhist scholar, described those in the state of anger as “always desiring to be superior to others” (Gosho Zenshu, p. 430). Anger is akin to arrogance; it may be described as frustrated arrogance.

As the Daishonin suggests here, we can overcome our deep-seated arrogance and anger through our devotion to the “one vehicle of the Lotus Sutra”—that is, the teaching of the universality of Buddhahood and its essential practice as chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. As we deepen our confidence in our own Buddhahood and this selfsame potential of others, the need to compare ourselves with others will diminish, and we will be free to appreciate and enjoy lives of our own making.

(Originally published in the World Tribune, March 14, 2003)

Feb 24, 2011

Result is a Reflection of Your Faith in the Gohonzon


(Thanks to Donna for this)

Whatever you are thinking in front of the Gohonzon will be true for you. Are you thinking failure or victory? Are you trying to tell the Gohonzon how to solve your problems or are you turning over your heart's desire with unlimited trust to the Gohonzon?  The Gohonzon's power is beyond comprehension of our minds. This is why we call it mystic. Our challenge is to dream of results as big as the power of the Gohonzon, which has no limit. With this attitude of faith, you can tap the infinite power of joy, gratitude and victory. If you find you are stuck, pray to the release the chains of doubt and fear clouding your mind of faith. Pray for unbounded confidence and courage to win over your past and joyfully step into your bright future.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

Jun 28, 2010

An Experience by Charles Johnson

By Charles Johnson

In the year of 1963, I was nine years old. My mother got me a membership to Uncle Ray’s Scrapbook club. Each week in the Worcester Massachusetts Telegram, the local Newspaper, Uncle Ray would write articles about History, Science and the World around us. The very first article I that I pasted into my scrapbook was an article and a picture of Shakyamuni Buddha. My Mother told me about the Buddha’s compassion for everything of this world. I told my mother at that time, this is how I would live my life.

It was many years later that a friend helped me to re-awaken what had been buried in my heart for so many years and led me to receive Gohonzon in Boston, Massachusetts in September of 2006...

In 2007, I worked as a Television Production Instructor for the United States Army’s, 3rd Psychological Operations Battalion at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The work involved spending 2 weeks on Base and then 3 weeks off. The pay was phenomenal.

Then 2008 arrived and all the work dried up as all of my students were being deployed around the world. I had enough money for food and to pay my mortgage for 5 months and that was it. When you work as a contractor to the Military there is no unemployment. So, I started sending out resumes and looking for work online.

On top of being out of work with no income, in March of 2008, my best friend, my 17 year old cat, became gravely ill. I was faced with the hardest obstacle of my life as it was necessary for me and a veterinarian to ease his suffering and help him go home.
The road I was traveling had gotten very dark, but I managed to keep the light of hope and strength burning brightly by doing Gongyo twice a day and chanting continuously.

As the end of May rolled around, I had enough money for my June mortgage payment, leaving me with $35. dollars in my savings account.
I chanted with ever growing Faith and Determination, to find a job where my skill set would be highly sought after by a company whose product I could truly say I believed in. I wanted to be part of a team that made a positive difference in this world by bringing truth and not fantasy to people.

                                             ~FireFlyGal

By mid-June, I cut back to one meal a day. As I made a bowl of rice one evening, I placed a teaspoonful of uncooked rice in a small cup and set it in front of my Gohonzon as I started my evening prayers. I still have the same cup of rice on my altar today.


The very next day, I received a phone call from Discovery Communications. They said they had read my resume on line and asked if I could come to Silver Spring at their expense for an interview. During the third week of June I flew from Massachusetts to Silver Spring and met with 4 executives that showed me the Engineering facility and grilled me for several hours with technical questions.

I flew home the same day and felt that the interview went very well. The next day I received a call from Discovery with a job offer that exceeded my wildest dreams. The offer of course I accepted.

They immediately put me in touch with their relocation company which helped me put my house up for sale and they provided me with a $5000. check toward my initial moving expenses. A portion of this money enabled me to pay my July mortgage. Then to top it all, they said that they would pay for all of my moving costs. So, I drove on June 29 to my sister’s house in Centreville, Virginia. Bringing with me, my clothes, laptop, Gohonzon and Butsudan, and my books.

I started work on July 1, 2008 and stayed at my sister’s house for a little over a year. Each day I would take the Metro from Vienna to Silver Spring and back again in the evening. My commute of three hours a day could have been tedious, but during this time I was able to read both volumes of the Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, The Lotus Sutra and the entire series of The Wisdom of The Lotus Sutra.

One day last June, I had gotten out of work around 4 PM, which I was thrilled at after working several 50 hour work weeks. I boarded the Metro at Silver Spring Station and headed for home.

I settled into a seat reading the last volume of Wisdom of The Lotus Sutra, and was deep in thought. Suddenly time seemed to slow down as I heard the horrible sound of metal smashing into metal. Our train had crashed head on into the rear of another train. There was a dead silence as we came to a stop. During the crash I felt a cushion around me and when we had stopped moving, I stood up, completely unharmed. I checked with the other passengers in the car and no one was injured. Myself and several other men made our way from the fourth and third cars and proceeded to the second and first car.

When we arrived at the front of the second car several men tried pulling down the ceiling that was blocking the door, Only to reveal a cross beam across the top of the door making it impossible to open . It seemed that we were purposely prevented access to the front car and prevented from witnessing the horror of 9 dead passengers. Again I felt the protective forces were guarding me and the others.

As the side doors opened, I helped men and women exit from the train and we all stood on the side of the tracks until the fire department cut throught the chain link fencing and we were able to move to a parking lot.

The injured were separated to one side and 11 of us that were not injured were told we could leave. So, we started walking toward the Fort Totten station, no one spoke. I called my brother-in-law to come and pick me up and finally arrived at the house around 9:00PM.
The next day I went back to work and received an email from the President of Discovery saying that he was happy that I was ok and if I needed anything at all, not to hesitate in contacting him.

The fact that I came through the crash totally unscathed can only be attributed to the protective forces of shoten zenjin.

In the The True Aspect of All Phenomena Nichiren Daishonin wrote:
“Be sure to strengthen your faith, and receive the protection of Shakyamuni Many Treasures, and the Buddhas of the ten directions.”
[No.40, Page 386, col 2, paragraph 17,


During my lifes difficult times, a quote from President Ikeda encouraged and strengthened me:

“You must be strong. There is no hope of winning in this chaotic world if you are weak. No matter what others do or say, it is important to develop your ability and then put that ability to use. Strong Faith, of course, is the best means for drawing out ones inner strength. You each have a very important mission, and I hope you will awaken to and be proud of that mission.”

President Toda once said: “If you have a problem, just pray for the solution. Buddhism is an earnest struggle to win. I’ll stake my life on the fact that if you practice wholeheartedly, all of your prayers will be realized.”


This is what I have learned thus far in my life?
I have learned that there are always obstacles and difficulties in this life, but, how we deal with obstacles and difficulties can open the door to a world of opportunity. I have learned that when an obstacle presents itself to me, I will ask myself,
What cause did I make to create this obstacle?
What must I learn from this obstacle?
What is the best way to overcome this obstacle?
Once I have answered these questions, the possible emotional severity created by the obstacle diminishes and I can overcome the obstacle with Courage, Confidence, Compassion, Wisdom and Determination . All these qualities taught to us in our Practice of Nichiren’s Buddhism.
Thank you for letting me share my experience with you.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Jan 26, 2010

Value Creation



Buddhism teaches us to regard everything in a positive light, as an opportunity for growth, as a raw material for developing absolute happiness. Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is wellspring of this optimism and growth- this is called "Value Creation". This wellspring enables practitioners to turn everything in their lives, joys and sufferings alike into causes for absolute happiness. As a result, individuals develop confidence in their power to transform even intense suffering into raw material of happiness. With this power, everything is a benefit, an opportunity.

(Source: The Buddha in your Mirror)