Source of Victory

Faith is the source of victory for everything. It is the foundation of our Buddhist practice for the happiness of ourselves and others. It is the key to carrying out our human revolution and transforming our karma. It is the sharp sword for cutting through the force for kosen-rufu, and for realizing lasting peace and prosperity based on the humanistic principles of Nichiren Buddhism.

~ Living Buddhism 2012

The Art of Listening with the Eyes of the Buddha

I think the ability to hear ourselves, and the ability to see everything from the viewpoint of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism, means to be able to view all of life from the standpoint of the law of causality.

THE GOHONZON IS NOT OUTSIDE US
I find that so many people still chant to the Gohonzon as if it were some God or some force outside of themselves. The attitude with which we chant, and the attitude with which we view the Gohonzon is most important, because if we have a distorted view, we will have a distorted practice, and it is that distorted practice and view, that we will teach to others.

We know from study that the characters on the Gohonzon represent the two sides of life and all of the positive/negative attributes that exist within life, including that fundamental darkness that coexists within every human life. Nichiren Daishonin says that there is no life that has one without the other. The characters representing both aspects of life are written on the Gohonzon. For me what is exciting is to know, that even without my being able to read it, Nichiren Daishonin wrote all of these characters on the Gohonzon, which represent every aspect of life, in such a way that every character is looking at the centre just like you and me. Every character is looking at Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. Think about the Ceremony in the Air. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo is the axis of the universe and we're forming a circle around that axis.

All of us are looking at Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It is the centre that every character is looking at. Why? It is because Nichiren Daishonin is giving us a continual message every time we look at the Gohonzon. The message is that we must base our life on the Law and never on the person. It is the mystic law that has enabled every Buddha throughout eternity to be able to manifest their fullest potential, and that it is the key, which is the centre, for everything. We have to make Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo the center of our life and we have to base our life on Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It means being able to see and to hear ourselves. It means that whenever we are facing a problem, we don't just try to use our brain to figure it out, or strategise how to fix it. Many members still do this, and after they have racked their brain as to what to do in order to get from Point A to Point B or to fix the problem, they then chant the solution to the Gohonzon to make it work! (laughter). I think that this is practicing incorrectly. Let me tell you why.

When we talk about the nine levels of consciousness, the first five are our senses. Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste and Touch. The sixth level is the conscious mind. The seventh is the unconscious mind. The eighth level is what we call the karma storage area, which is that area in our life that has accumulated every cause we have ever made throughout all existences. Below that is the ninth level of consciousness, which Buddhism says, is the one pure, unchanging reality of our life.

Every single one of us has fortune and lack of fortune in our life. In the areas in which we have fortune, we can do the same things we see other people do and we can achieve our goals but in the areas of your life where you lack fortune, you can do the identical thing you see your neighbour doing, but the object of your desire seems to move further and further away (laughter), right?

EXCHANGING MISFORTUNE FOR FORTUNE
When we are dealing with problems in our lives, they have a causal connection to us. Many times they come from that place in our life where we lack fortune. And so, if we use our brain to strategize how to fix things, our brain can only go to the eighth level of consciousness, which is the karma storage. That is the area which stores up and accumulates all of the causes we have ever made, and it's seems to be the place in which; WE DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE FORTUNE (laughter). Our brain then devises a solution based on lack of fortune. By following this "mental" solution, we will keep reinforcing the same pattern of karmic tendencies over and over in our lives.
But what Nichiren teaches is that by chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo you can pierce through the eighth level of karma storage. Pierce through it, be unaffected by it, and you can reach the pure unchanging reality and infinite wisdom of your life that is unaffected by karma storage. That answer is the correct answer for your life. It's not affected by your karma in the area in which you lack fortune. And this is why I believe Nichiren Daishonin says we must become the master of our mind rather than allowing our mind to master us.

My point is this; when we pray, we need to start from a determination such as: "I will accomplish X," (whatever X is). We also have to understand from Buddhism that we create our life every moment through our thoughts, our words, and our behavior.

Prayer in Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is profoundly different from prayer in other religions. We are not praying to something outside of ourselves to bestow something on us. Instead, our prayer here is the determination that; "I will create the object or thing that I am praying for through my causes of thought, words, and actions. I am the creator of my life and I will take the responsibility to create the thing that I am praying for, and that after I have chanted this kind of determined daimoku, I will accomplish X." I then must come to a realization... "How in the world am I going to do this? That answer only exists inside of my life. I can tap my wisdom for the answer when I have the belief and conviction, that the answer exists inside of me." And I start chanting with the determination to pull that wisdom up from within my life to clearly see what it is that I need to do in order to create the thing that I'm praying for. That is why 

President Ikeda says:

"Benefit comes from you. Nobody gives you benefit."

Source: THE ART OF LISTENING WITH THE EYES OF THE BUDDHA - By Linda Johnson, SGI-USA WD Leader, Nov 2003 (Abridged), Edited by Adrian Mollica April 6th 2004

What Happens When We Die

By Akemi Baynes

We live and then we die. Many think of death as something dark, like ‘THE END’. Buddhism asserts that whilst all physical manifestations of life must decline and disintegrate, life itself cannot be destroyed. Death is the unseen state of life. It is the time when a person’s entity gathers energy to take on a new visible form. This continual rhythm of physical appearance, followed by death, is the very rhythm of life itself. Indeed the characters Myo-ho (of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo or Mystic Law) mean just this. How does Buddhism view death? One starting point in answering this question lies in recent evidence in medical research.

Professor Raymond Moody, an American philosopher and psychologist, has run a clinic for ten years. During this time more than 200 people who in clinical terms have died, have started to breathe again and returned to life. His book ‘Life After Life’, includes many of these experiences. Some can be classed as hallucinations but many of the stories seem to be true. With the numerous examples there are many similar factors. Firstly, at death, life leaves the physical body and floats above it and, regardless of the condition of the body, there is still consciousness, sight and hearing. There, as if on a screen in front of you, you see what you did, what you felt, and what you thought throughout the whole of your life. All this happens very fast and as you see it, you are able to feel joy for the good things and deep suffering for the things you want to hide. Thirdly, in this place, you feel you meet other people who have died. However, there exists some line between this world and the unknown world and before you cross over, you can sometimes, according to the experiences, be pulled back.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross originally did not believe in life after death. She made a special study based on the experiences of the dying and her conclusions are similar to Raymond Moody’s. She mentions particularly the part where the dead person sees everything that they did during their life time. She concludes that there is no such thing as a god to judge you; you judge yourself. She is convinced that death is only leaving matter and that life continues.

There are of course theories about ‘this thing’ that leaves the body at the time of death, which can see, hear and feel. Professor Okabe, a Japanese scientist, thinks that life after death is a form of energy, because energy is never destroyed:
“I think the main part of being is this particular energy and the physical body is a secondary factor. All physical matter changes in each person completely over seven years. If you think that it is the body that is the primary factor of life, then you are completely different person to the one you were seven years ago. But this ‘energy’ is constant, therefore everyone knows that they are the same person as when they were a child. This energy is able to function only because of the physical body. Death is only changing the form of energy. When you are alive, the energy is very active but when you die it becomes passive. It continues in a cycle between the two states forever.”

Okabe’s idea is very close to Buddhist thought. Buddhism says quite simply that this energy is life itself. Being alive or being dead are just different manifestations of life itself. This not only applies to human beings, but to everything throughout the universe.

The body, alive or dead, is also a part of universal life. It is like the rain that we see falling, which then disappears into the earth. The water drains underground, eventually flowing into a river and onwards to the sea. When this water evaporates from the surface of the sea it loses its physical form, until it again forms clouds and then rain. Because of our knowledge of science we know that the water itself does not change, only its physical form. From this example you could say that water as a liquid is like visible life and that the evaporated water is like death. The liquid and the evaporated water are just two cycles of the same substance. Similarly, life itself does not change, but it shows itself in two different forms, life and death, and just like the water, it will move in the cycle continually.

Despite the experiences of people who have died and then returned to life, it is impossible to know where life went to. This question is in the realm of philosophy and religion. It is something you cannot physically or scientifically prove. A famous Buddhist teaching by Vasubandhu (approximately 5th Century AD) describes the experience of death and birth:
“At death, the body is separated in two, the seen body and the unseen body. This unseen body is called sai-shin which means ‘very small body’ that cannot be seen by the physical eye. It is so small that it can move through any physical matter. The eyes, ears, nose and tongue keep perfect sense, not as a body, but as ability. This small body is able to float and fly any distance instantly. Every life in this condition has the potential to be born again, but it cannot be born when and where it likes, it is decided by what the person did while he was alive. He is born in a situation or place which is most suitable for the causes he made. At the moment when the female egg is fertilized by the male, if it is suitable for someone’s new life, this ‘very small body’ arrives there instantly, and a new physical form starts. When the physical body dies, it is impossible to change either the good or bad effects contained within its life. There is also no fixed time when it will be born again. For some it will be a very long time. It is all decided by what that person did during his life.”
This teaching very clearly describes karma.

Buddhism goes deeper than psychology in asserting nine consciousnesses. The ability to hear, see, feel, smell and taste are the first five. The sixth consciousness is our conscious mind. The seventh is active both when we are awake and sleeping. This is the realm of abstract thought and judgment. All the latent feelings or the six consciousnesses appear in our dreams through this seventh consciousness. Near to death, the six consciousnesses become latent and the seventh consciousness appears very strongly. Within this seventh consciousness is the deep desire to live. At death, the eighth consciousness becomes the strongest, with the first seven consciousnesses becoming latent. At the time of death all the seven consciousnesses, though latent, still exist or are stored within the eighth. The eighth level is where karma is stored during life. When life separates from the physical body, these seven consciousnesses continue to exist dormantly. The desire to live life again is still contained within the seventh consciousness. This will be the force to return to life again, but this will only be achieved in accord with the karma created by the causes made during the previous life through these seven consciousnesses, now stored in the eighth. When physical life starts once more, the seven consciousnesses again become strong, and the eighth level becomes latent.

Karma is every function of our lives, our thoughts, words and deeds (i.e. the workings of the seven consciousnesses) which are then carved into our lives. Our thoughts, words and deeds, whether good or bad, are not judged in the end by morals or the laws of society. Those based on the protection and development of life will be stored as good karma and those causing destruction, hurt or harm to life, as bad karma. This karma created within the seven consciousnesses is stored at the eighth level. Therefore, when you die, your life will be latent in the universe exactly as it was at the point of death and, since the seven consciousnesses are latent, they are unable to react to any environmental influence to change your life state.

We might imagine that life after death will be peaceful and a time of resting, but just as you can have a happy or unhappy dream, after death you can also feel joy or suffering. It is important, therefore, to look at one’s present life very strictly. The Buddhist theory of the nine consciousnesses is concerned with how we can be sure to build up good and valuable causes with our seven consciousnesses so that there are plenty in store at the eighth level at the point of death. In this respect the importance of the ninth consciousness becomes clear. The ninth consciousness is described as the essence of universal and eternal life (Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo), which can, if we choose to make the effort, permeate all the other eight consciousnesses.

The process of dying brings to the fore the main tendency of our lives. As one approaches the moment of death, one’s life centers on one of the ten states, the one which relates most strongly to his karma. After physical death we will remain in this state, latent in the universe, exactly as we were at the point of death.

If our lives are inclined towards suffering in the six lower worlds then we can expect to experience these in the latent state. The aim of Buddhism is to enable us to change the fixed direction which we have built up over many lifetimes. Buddhism is concerned with allowing us to bring forth the ninth consciousness, which is unaffected by this karma. Having done this in life, the ninth consciousness will remain predominant while dead. What happens when we die depends on what we do now to reveal the Buddha state.
Source: The Buddhism of the Sun (Pg. 42 – 45) 

 

An Experience by José Antonio

I would like to talk about my own experience practicing the Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism, and how that process has been.

I was born in Caracas-Venezuela 57 years ago. I had a good education thanks to the effort of my parents. I became a musician, a pianist. I began to play music and work professionally. I also did teach artistic education in children's schools. During that time I met Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, but shortly.

In 1980 when I was 25, I got an offer to come to Brussels-Belgium to play "Latin music." I started working and touring successfully. During that time I also started using and abusing drugs and alcohol. After a few years I got married and soon after we had our daughter.

Because of my addiction and bad habits, I became very irresponsible, egoistic, and very arrogant. Then because I was so unreliable I lost my wife and my family. At this point my life went down hill. I lost my dignity, my integrity, self-respect, the respect from my friends and my colleagues. I found myself spending a lot of money, sad, depress, lonely, and with empty pockets. 

I was lost.! .. I knew I needed to change my life, and I didn't know how. I did try all kind of treatments but that didn't work properly.

Suddenly, one day in 2007, I met an old friend on the street. She invited me to her house and introduced me to the wonderful world of Nichiren Daishonin Buddism and to chant 

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I recognized it from my early days in Caracas. So I did embraced it immediately.

Little by little I started to change and see the beauty of life from a different perspective. My process of "Human Revolution" started then. It has been a long and a very difficult process because of my self-destructive habits, and my negative attitude that had affected my character seriously not being able to see the true nature of my weaknesses. Everybody, the entire world was wrong, except me! ..

A few months ago, I had a serious confrontation with my daughter, it was a crucial moment that did show me clearly how deep my karma was taken place and how that was manifesting in my family and my environment. I invited her to have a deep and positive conversation about our problems, and we had a very wise and constructive dialogue face to face, heart to heart. And for the first time I was really listening to what she had to tell me, her point of view as a grown up person, and not as a child as I used to see her. At this point the quality of our relation did change radically.

I realized how much selfish and irresponsible I was being to her, to the others, and to myself. So I learned that the problems and the solutions are within us. What we think, what we say, and what we do, create causes and effects. I started chanting earnestly every morning and every night to break and transform my karma. And with the deep purpose to become a better person with great values, I wanted to get back my dignity and respect, and to win and overcome my problems. That became my fundamental priority. I started then to claim the hill, to claim 

the mountain.

We all have the potential within us to change our life, it's all about attitude and determination. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo provide us with the fuel to bring out the necessary force, 

the wisdom,and the courage to take action. When we change, the world changes too.

To end, I would like to read a short paragraph from a Gosho "Reply to Nichigon-ama”:

"When water is clear, the moon is reflected,

when faith is strong, is like clear water."

Thank you.

José Antonio

Amsterdam, February, 28th, 2013.

Positive Thinking Vs Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

By Kathy Aitken from UKE January 1998

Look in any bookshop, anywhere, and the chances are you'll find a section devoted to 'self-help' titles. These shelves are the domains of the 'positive thinking' manuals - modern day guides to the business of living. Some of them are bestsellers. Each of these offerings has a slightly different slant, but closer examination will reveal common themes: how to develop self-esteem; how to cast off pessimism and start thinking 'big'; how to set goals and then achieve them; how to improve your relationships. The basic message running throughout is: change your thinking and you change your life. It's a laudable theory, but how far does it go?

In Buddhism, the workings of the mind are elucidated by the doctrine called the nine consciousnesses. The first five comprise 'the senses' - sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. It is through these that we have awareness of the world around us. The sixth is the conscious mind which processes the perceptions made by the five senses and translates them into judgements about the external world: "That is an orange." The seventh consciousness, sometimes called the mano-consciousness, equates to the unconscious mind of modern psychology, by dint of which we are able to ponder and reflect: "Because this is an orange it must be full of vitamin C and therefore be good for me."

The eighth level of consciousness is known as the karma storehouse, or alaya consciousness. It is here that the sum total of all our actions - the effects of causes made by thought, word and deed - is stored. This in turn gives rise to the blueprint of our individual lives, or karma, which carries within it the propensity for our own particular ways of thinking, speaking and doing to become ever more defined. 

Beyond this is the ninth consciousness, the Buddha state - the highest consciousness attainable and a boundless source of wisdom, compassion and courage. This state forms the basis of all spiritual functions and is also known as the amala-consciousness - amala meaning pure and undefiled -, which remains forever free from any karmic impurities. Nichiren Daishonin explains that we express this state by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

As can often be seen from the above explanation, all conscious thought - be it positive or negative - takes place at the sixth and seventh levels of consciousness. It follows, therefore, that even the most valiant of mental efforts to upgrade the quality of one's thinking will still be limited by the constraints imposed by one's karma. We cannot reach the deepest level of our inner selves by conscious thought. Although 'positive thinking' no doubt helps in developing various skills in life, we cannot change karma, the eighth consciousness, with our thoughts. 

Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to the Gohonzon enables us to draw on the amala-consciousness, or as we more commonly call it, Buddhahood. 

When we do this, we are no longer at the mercy of the many distorted views, which are part and parcel of our karma; instead, we can see everything from a much broader perspective than has hitherto been possible. As Nichiren Daishonin so graphically expresses it:

"Fire can be produced by a stone taken from the bottom of a river, and a candle can light up a place that has been dark for billions of years. If even the most ordinary things of this world are such wonders, then how much more wondrous is the power of the Mystic Law." (MW, Vol.1, p. 223)

The fundamental purpose of practicing Buddhism is to reveal Buddhahood and to relieve the sufferings of others by sharing the Buddha's wisdom with them. It is not simply a means to achieve an improvement in one's personal circumstances. Buddhism concerns itself with the fundamental dynamic between ourselves and the rest of the universe, and maximizing the potential for creating happy, fulfilling lives within that dynamic. 

When we truly understand this, we gain sight of the bigger picture and are able to avoid the pitfall of becoming obsessed by our wishes and wants. Instead, we live in the knowledge that 'actual proof' in our circumstances will show itself as a natural result of our profound inner change.

In short, with the wisdom of the Buddha, we can see what actions needs to be taken and when to take it; with the courage of the Buddha we will take that action; and with the compassion of the Buddha, that action will encompass the greatest good for everybody and everything concerned.

True freedom is ours only when we act from a perspective free from karmic influences. By making this our prerogative through chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to the Gohonzon, we begin to establish an inner core of unshakable happiness. Furthermore, we gain the conviction that we will, in this lifetime, overcome our negative karma, develop the attributes of the Buddha, and achieve the fulfillment of all our prayers.

The Buddha and the Law of Everything

by

Richard  Moorman

The purpose of science is to seek the truth and to understand the workings of everything. Scientists want to know not only what goes on at subatomic level but also how the universe itself operates. They observe the phenomena around them and develop theories to explain them. Theories are nothing more than possible explanations of things until such time as they can be tested and proved by rigorous experiment.

The purpose of religion is to seek the truth and to understand the workings of everything. Religions have developed in response to mankind’s yearning to know the answers to big questions such as “Why is the universe there? – How does it work? – What is the meaning of life? – How do I fit in? – What am I?” Added to these philosophical questions are those expressing deeply felt concerns such as, “Why is there so much suffering in the world? – How can I be happy? – What happens when I die?  Theories and philosophies have been developed to answer these big questions. Often it is accepted that we can never fully understand everything and that faith is required in order to accept these theories and therefore be happy. Faith might, for example, be in the existence of the supernatural, or of a being or beings living in a realm that is inaccessible to ordinary humans and who have created things the way they are. By their very definition, the existence of such beings cannot be proved by experiment.

These two approaches have traditionally been quite separate and even totally incompatible. Scientific proof is fundamentally different from “blind” religious faith. Modern civilisation, especially in the West, has become increasingly based on Science, which has contributed enormous benefits to mankind, and religion has therefore been in decline.

            The burning desire to understand everything is still the driving force of Science. When Isaac Newton observed an apple falling to the ground, he asked himself why this should happen. He did not rest until he had discovered the force of gravity. His great discovery, together with his deep understanding of other phenomena, such as expressed in his Laws of Motion, are still the basis of the intricate calculations that enable astronomers to predict the orbits of planets and their satellites and military scientists to work out the ballistics of their weapons.

            The scientific world was revolutionised when Albert Einstein showed how matter and energy are related and how the effect of gravity is dependent on time, now seen as a fourth dimension. He explained that gravity can be considered as “curved space” a concept that has enabled astronomers to understand such things as how the earth actually manages to stay in orbit around the sun. Everyone knows of his famous equation e = mc², where e is energy, m is mass and c is the speed of light. Knowledge of this relationship is not the same as really understanding it and only physicists can form a concept of it in their minds.

            Other scientists studying matter at subatomic level have developed theories that seem to explain what is happening there. At this level matter does not really seem to exist at all. Everything seems to boil down to minute particles constantly in motion and related to each other in ways that depend on energy and time and on the probability of certain events occurring. These laws, described in quantum physics, do not seem to tally with Einstein’s theories. And so there is a search for a set of scientific principles that really do explain everything -  a “Law of Everything”. The best modern contender is the “string theory” which postulates that everything in the entire universe is made up of minute “strings” of energy, constantly in motion and relating to each other in different ways to produce different kinds of matter and everything else.

            About 2500 years ago, a man named Siddhartha Gautama sat under a tree in Northern India and started meditating. He had decided not to rise until he had answered those same big questions that have always  bothered mankind. He wanted to understand everything as it really was and not as it appeared to be. After a prolonged period he came to a perfect understanding of what reality was. This great event is known as his “enlightenment” and he was thereafter known to all as the “Buddha”, meaning “the enlightened one”.

The Buddha developed theories to explain his understanding. He typically looked at reality from various viewpoints. In examining the nature of existence he said that there is in fact no inherent existence in anything at all. Nothing in the entire universe has existence in its own right. Everything depends upon something else for its own existence which can therefore only ever be “relative” existence. Another of his findings was that even this relative existence is not permanent in any way. It is constantly changing and the prime reason for change is the law  of cause and effect (Karma). The basic “content” of everything is therefore “nothingness” (Shunyata) and only manifests as “something” when a temporary set of conditions, or “energies”, are present. So everything in the universe is the result of a cosmic interplay between the unseen (energy) and the seen (matter). None of these results is constant because the causes themselves are always changing.

With regard to human happiness the Buddha taught that we must learn not to cling onto “things” such as possessions or relationships as sources of happiness because there is no permanent substance or reality to these things. He taught us to regard ourselves as an integral part of everything and everyone in the entire universe. Because we are essentially “one” with everything and everyone we can only be truly happy when we realise that we cannot be so on our own. To be truly happy we have to strive to make everyone happy and we must work on our own minds so that we can see things clearly. The great Buddhist qualities of loving-kindness and compassion are a  natural result of this kind of thinking.

“Oneness” with everything is easy to say but difficult to grasp. It is useful to resort to analogies to help us understand. Analogies can form part of our contemplation of life, part of our meditation. The following is an example of how we may contemplate our oneness with everything.

Imagine that you are a wave, a single wave on the surface of the vast ocean. The ocean represents the universe. You have a separate identity in that you have movement and form and an apparent life of your own. You may be a small ripple or you may be a giant tidal wave with terrible power at your disposal. There are many other waves each having its own characteristics - these represent all the other living beings in the universe. You are not the ocean and yet you only exist because of it. You are made of it and you cannot really distinguish the difference between the water making you up and the water forming the vast ocean itself. You cannot exist without the ocean and the ocean cannot exist without you because it is impossible to distinguish where you end and the ocean begins.

            The Buddha instructed his disciples not to accept anything as true simply because they heard it from a  respected person or simply because it was written in holy scripture. He said that they should test every theory in the laboratory of life and in the light of reason and logic. A teaching should only be accepted it can be proved in this way. This thinking should be applied to the whole of the Buddha’s teaching, collectively referred to as the “Buddha Dharma”. He went on to say that we should base our very lives on the Dharma and not on him as a person.

            The Buddha left behind a huge volume of teachings, recorded in the Buddhist Sutras, and Buddhists of various schools have developed many approaches to “living the Buddha Dharma”. Some of these approaches became so complex over time that only a monastic existence provided any hope of success in following them. Other schools over-simplified the teachings and even brought in an element of “blind faith” to make things simpler for ordinary people.

            In thirteenth century Japan, a reforming monk named Nichiren really wanted to find the Buddhist equivalent of what our present day Scientist’s are seeking – the “Law of Everything”. He wanted to find a way in which ordinary people could follow the Dharma in the midst of their everyday life and achieve the absolute kind of happiness that the Buddha himself had achieved.   After many years of study and contemplation, Nichiren concluded that the culmination of the Buddha’s teachings was to be found in the Lotus Sutra. The Lotus Sutra teaches that everyone has the potential to be a Buddha, irrespective of education, social class or gender. All one has to do is to practice the sutra or teachings. The Sutra does not however go on to tell us how this should be done. Nichiren’s enormous contribution to Buddhism was to give the world a method of following the Buddha’s instructions to the letter. He defined his “Law of Everything” as “Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo”.

            “Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo” can be translated as “I take refuge in the wonderful Dharma of the Lotus Sutra”. Nichiren taught his followers to recite or chant this phrase over and over again, like a mantra, as a way of concentrating the mind whilst contemplating a special scroll, or “mandala”, upon which is a calligraphic representation of enlightened human life . This practice can be thought of as a “holistic” form of meditation in which attention is paid to sound, sight, breath and posture. Nichiren taught that this practice must be backed up by study of Buddhist philosophy and by right living or self-transformation. A new school of Buddhism evolved from his teachings and is becoming known in the West largely through the efforts of the lay Buddhist society known as the “Soka Gakkai International”, which is striving for world peace based on the propagation of Nichiren’s teachings.

            Nichiren Buddhism, along with other schools like Zen Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism, is part of an amazing growth in the number of people practising Buddhism today. One reason for this upsurge in interest is that the mind-training techniques of Buddhism provide a perfect antidote to the stresses of modern living. Everyone wants peace of mind. Other techniques and therapies can provide this of course, but people are still seeking answers to the big questions and Buddhism’s basic “scientific” approach strikes a chord with people who are no longer prepared to take a “leap of faith” in order to make sense of life.  There is no conflict between Buddhism and Science. Both are seeking the truth. Indeed many Buddhists consider Scientific truth as a part of the Dharma.

            At an audience with the Dalai Lama, the respected leader of Tibetan Buddhism, a western student asked him how he would react if science could prove without doubt that a teaching based on Buddhist scripture was untrue. The Dalai Lama thought quietly for a moment and then replied that if this were to be proved then Buddhism would simply have to accept it.

           

            The following words of Einstein, the father of modern physics, will provide a fitting final thought:

"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal god, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity."

Polishing Ourselves to Deserve an Ideal Soul mate Part 2

A Young Women's Division member, capable and beautiful, had to suffer repeatedly from her vicious karma relationship. Her karma had been played out continuously for a few years by several young men of a similar type, as if the were in a relay race. Each time the relationship started, she was so attracted to one of them and would quickly surrender her heart & body, thus becoming a subordinate to the man. She had offered herself as cheap game for those men to capture easily. As a result, they did not cherish her but, one after another, dumped her when the fresh excitement faded.

Obviously, none of them was the man that she was supposed to share her life with and her karma would trap her anyway at the time when she had no wisdom to distinguish good from bad. She could realize the problem of her karma until she strove to quadruple her daimoku and kosen rufu activities for a while.

She then persistently strengthened her faith, practice and study with the goal of eradicating her karma relationship. She also worked staunchly on her human revolution. In her case, she had to painstakingly force herself not to quickly jump into a new relationship before it was clear that she had transformed her life.

She has now found her ideal soul mate, an entirely different type of person to whom she would have noticed before. Now she can genuinely treat him very sweetly to her hearts content because he gives her in return, even more love & care. However, this only transpired when she had elevated her life state and changed her perspective towards men and could thereby recognize and choose this lucky man who suits her so perfectly.

Three-years diligent practice, amidst tears and heart breaking experiences, was indeed touch to overcome in her quest to eradicate her bad karma relationship but it was well worth all the effort. If she had never made that effort, she would still be stumbling and struggling with the same karma, probably for the rest of her life,

The second answer that our lives can contribute is to choose wisely.

We don’t want to risk our happiness by grabbing someone just because that person is available to us. If we do, we can expect the endless struggle that’s going to befall us. Feeling desperately lonely, fearing that there is no chance of finding a better partner or thinking we don’t deserve a good one are no reasons to perfunctorily settle for less. Its better to leave one’s heart yearning for love than to fill the aching void without discretion.

Again, we would be much better off if we turned the energy of desperation, fear and struggle into the fuel to forge our development first. Once we have cultivated more commendable quality, naturally we qualify to have more options to choose from. Thus, we can hold our heads high and choose wisely.

Let’s look at what a harmonious seamless relationship is like in Nichiren Daishonin’s eyes:-

THE HIYOKI IS A BIRD WITH ONE BODY AND TWO HEADS. BOTH OF ITS MOUTHS NOURISH THE SAME BODY. HIMOKU ARE FISH WITH ONLY ONE EYE EACH, SO THE MALE AND FEMALE REMAIN TOGETHER FOR LIFE. A HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD BE LIKE THEM.

Letter to the Brothers, WND p 502

The ideal relationship should be reciprocally nourishing. It is very important that with our partner we inspire and encourage, respect and cherish, motivate and invigorate each other. We share dreams & hopes, embrace each others beliefs and character, shed tears together over adversities, and work as two in body but one in mind on mutual goals. Be sure that both sides are mature, sincere , independent, genuine, positive, caring and willing to improve & grow.

We don’t wish to be involved with someone whose energy is inherently destructive and negative& will hinder our happiness. If our prospective partner tends to dominate or overpower us. Unreasonably and if we are not sure of our ability to joyously accommodate such a strong personality, lets employ our wisdom and judgment and stay away from them. We have to be on our guard instead and not blindly jump into predictably doomed and painful relationship.

The third answer from our lives with which to solve our relationship problem is to renew the image of our soulmate.

Indeed, superficially speaking, it is hard to find someone whose strengths and weaknesses fit us perfectly. But, it is up to us how we think and work to compliment each other and create value from our partner’s seemingly negative traits in our eyes.

When the ideals and desires of the two sides are unbalanced or confrontational before we treat it, as a doomed relationship and helplessly plunge into the commitment or before we rush to abandon the relationship, there’s something we can try. In fact, activating our wisdom awakens us to the untrue portrait we have painted of our partner. We can also employ the teachings of Nichiren Buddhism to gain a truthful, vivid and positive image of the same person.

There are different angles from which we can review our opinion about our partner and find ways to amend and adjust the differences between both sides.

Are the fundamental problems in our relationship definitely unbearable in the long term? Are they fixed without the possibility of improvement or change? Are they solely our partners fault? Or are they the result of our own deceived mind due to the function of the three poisons of greed, anger & foolishness? Most importantly of all, do we have the wisdom to see the reality of the relationship as the manifestation of our own karma, & do we thus want to take total responsibility? What can we do to help our partner and to turn around our relationship?

Ever wonder why the same deserted man or woman can become the sweetheart of another person? One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. That is to say the value of everything changes, depending on its relationship with the environment and depending on how we look at it. Does that mean tht we can reformat the pattern of our relationship without changing partners? Yes!!

Here come the tough questions to ponder and the real task to follow through on: Can we allow our partners the room to live their lives instead of enveloping them in the narrow fashion of our frame of mind? Are we willing to employ the kind of wisdom, compassion and strength, our Buddha Nature, and to resolve to process the poisons into medicines? Will we set out on this new avenue, whatever it takes, with only a positive attitude, and create nothing but good causes for the relationship? Do we want to exert our wisdom and compassion to understand where our partners are coming from and practice this Buddhism on their behalf to help them change their karma and erase trauma?

The fourth answer to helping ourselves in our relationships is to reflect upon what we want and be well prepared for it. In other words, ask for what we want as well as doing what we have to do to deserve it.

Neetu Vaswani

Photos from tumblr

Polishing Ourselves to Deserve an Ideal Soul mate Part 1

One of the sharpest growing pains that most human beings have to experience is the process of finding an ideal soul mate. Quite a few have found it so heart-breaking and physically exhausting that they try anything they can think of to overcome such pain. In spite of their repeated attempts, they can do nothing to prevent it lingering throughout their lives.

How can one meet the right person at the right time and mutually fall in love and cherish each other? Not really knowing how to deal with all the complicated factors, criteria, and variables of finding the good match for two unique people, even through endless frustration and torment, and struggling through countless trials & errors, leaves most people still at a loss.

To successfully find an ideal soul mate appears to be a goal that is so arduous and hard to reach it seems that the lucky people are only few out of hundreds of thousands. But however scarce the chance, it is relatively bountiful compared to the probability of encountering and embracing the Lotus Sutra. Let’s listen to what Nichiren Daishonin says about this scarce possibility:

‘Thus, encountering this sutra is as rare as the blossoming of the udumbara flower, which occurs but once in three thousand years, or the one eyed turtle finding a floating piece of sandalwood, which happens only once in innumerable, boundless kalpas.’
__The Daimoku of the Lotus Sutra, WND p. 143

Lo and behold! We as practioners of Nicherin Buddhism who chant Nam Myoho Renge kyo, have already hit this ultimate jackpot.!!

Nichiren Daishonin thus continues:

“The eighth volume of the Lotus Sutra of the wonderful Law states that one who accepts and upholds the mere name of the Lotus Sutra will enjoy immeasurable good fortune”

There is no question that being practitioners of the Lotus Sutra, we inherit within our lives the immeasurable , all-encompassing good fortune. As long as we make the proper causes we will be able to manifest all the fortune and enjoy it. Thus, if we apply the strategy of the Lotus Sutra into scrupulously polishing our lives, we are preparing ourselves to claim the fortune that’s due to us. Among all those kinds of fortune of finding our ideal soul mate, despite the slim chances.

In the same letter , Nichiren Daishonin also points out :

‘When the Lotus Sutra was preached and the moon of the theoretical teaching came forth, first the bodhisattvas with their two good eyes gained enlightenment, and then the cross-eyed people of the two vehicles. Next the blind eyes of ordinary people were opened

Thus, with our eyes opened, the door of Buddha wisdom, the wisdom that is inherent in human life was also opened. In this case, what relationship dilemma is there that we cant find a solution for, and what maze-like love affair is there that we cant see the shortest way out of?

Buddhism teaches that all problems and their solutions come from within our own lives.
Therefore. If we have been experiencing difficulties in finding the ideal soul mate , we know that we ourselves are the ultimate sources for the answers on how to succeed in this goal.

The first thing we can do for our lives is to sculpt ourselves.

Our minimum goal is to make ourselves become lovable. The ultimate goal is to polish our lives so that we attract ideal candidates like magnets, for all kinds of premium prospects to entrust us with their hearts.

To reach those goals, before anything else, it is recommended that we launch a daimoku campaign to elevate our life state and let wisdom emerge. According to the principle of oneness of life and its environment, unless we lift ourselves from the level where we are at now, we will always be caught up in the same old troublesome environment and disturbing occurrences, which reflect our life state perfectly.

A snake mates with a snake while a human being marries another human being. A person whose basic life condition is in the World of Tranquility would not normally seek a close relationship with a person whose life state is constantly in the World of Animality or Hunger.

Regarding our ideal soul mate, we all have terms & conditions in mind. If we are humble & conservative, we would at least pursue people with a similar quality level as ourselves. Most of us tend to wish for someone who is or potentially will be loftier than us in character, ability, achievement or finance. As human beings , it is natural that we adore, cherish and admire people with higher qualities.

If we want to pursue someone of better traits as our life long companion, the surest way is to develop ourselves so that we live up to the same or higher criteria than that which we expect from our soul mate. Thus we wont be going after someone, stretching ourselves in vain trying to catch the unreachable. In other words, we had better fix & upgrade our whole being so that we deserve the love of our ideal soulmate. To reach this goal, human revolution is the 1st key.

Are we happy and healthy mentally and physically? Are we positive, confident, active and diligent? What is our strength and what have we achieved in life that deserves others respect, admiration and embracement? Are we putting forth enough effort to bring out our potential in order to advance? Are we changing our shortcomings into good virtues with which we can adorn our lives to make them shine even brighter? Are we the kind of delightful and amiable people that even we ourselves would appreciate and long to be with?

In his writing ‘Letter to the Brothers” Nichiren Daishonin gives a very vivid explanation of the close relationship between husband and wife:

“When a husband is happy, his wife will be fulfilled. If a husband is a thief, his wife will become one too. This is not a matter of this life alone. A husband and wife are as close as a form and shadow, flowers and fruit, or roots and leaves, in every existence of life, insects eat the trees they live in, and fish drink the water in which they swim. If grasses wither, orchids grieve, if pine trees flourish, cypresses rejoice.;
WND p.501

In other words, two people stay together, share their lives or experience their combined karma together but they don’t just get together randomly. They are together based on reasons. Those who have good karma can only share their fortune with people who have the same fortune to enjoy it. Those who have deep karma will only be together with someone whose destiny at least part of it, will be equally dark and heavy. A loving and caring man wont qualify to play the role of a husband in the life of a woman whose karma is to marry a very abusive man. Instead, he belongs to a woman who has the good karma of enjoying the sweet love of her man.

Therefore, if we are wise enough, before setting out in search of Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, we will eradicate bad karma, and create good karma first. In this way, we become persons of better fortune. It will save us from struggling through much unwanted and avoidable suffering.

Neetu Vaswani

10 Good Reasons to Chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and the Lotus Sutra

1. Use the Ultimate Law of the Universe for Your Real Happiness (a.k.a., Enlightenment or Buddhahood)

                                                    Source

2. Get Rid of Bad Karma and Build Good Karma. Change Defeat into Victory; Loss into Gain; Poison into Medicine

                                                    Source

3.Overcome Your Fears, Painful Memories and Phobias

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4. Understand Your Life Condition With an Enlightened Mind

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 5. Relate to People in Your Environment on the Highest Level

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6. Control the Lower Four Worlds of Hell, Hunger, Dominant/Submissive Attitudes and Anger

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7. Find and Keep Actual Love

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8. Understand and Get What You Really Need for Your Happiness (What Do I want out of life?)

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9. Increase the Span of Your Life; Overcome the Sufferings of Birth, Old Age, Sickness, Death and Re-birth

 

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10. Get Stuff You May Want, Including Freedom, Wealth, Love, Friends, Work Satisfaction and Joy By Buddhafying Yourself

 Source: americangongyo.org

Share your reasons to chant

A Buddhist view of Relationships Pt 1

by Eddy Canfor-Dumas

1990 was a bad year for divorce in Britain. Or rather, it was a good year for divorce, but not such a good year for marriage. 153,386 of them broke down ‘irretrievably’, the sole grounds for divorce in English law. Currently, that figure (the most up-to-date available) represents forty-six per cent – almost a half – of all new marriages in England and Wales (331,150).

It’s a sobering thought. Yet for many people the sorry wreckage of so many marriages in our society has not proved a deterrent to splicing the knot. In love, it seems, hope truly does spring eternal.

To many others, though, the number of failed marriages they can see has put them off the idea of matrimony, but not, it seems, the idea of living together in a marriage-type relationship. Even here, though, there is no guarantee that such a relationship is any more likely to succeed than a ‘formal’ marriage. In fact, if the number of marriage-type relationships that broke down could be counted, the overall proportion of ‘divorces’ to enduring relationships might be even higher.

And this is just counting heterosexual relationships. Add in the number of homosexual partnerships that fail and one might wonder how it is that any two people ever manage to stay together and build a successful relationship through their lives.

There have been many reasons put forward as to why so many relationships fail today – amongst others, the decline of the influence of the Church, the advent of the Pill, the growing financial-independence of women and a rise of intolerance generally between people. But whatever the reasons, two conclusions at least can be drawn from the present state of affairs.

First, our judgement as to who would make a good partner is not, on present statistics, all that reliable. And second, even if we do manage to meet and marry (or live with) Mr or Miss Right, our ability to sustain and develop that relationship is frequently tested to breaking point.

Given that, for many people, an enduring and emotionally satisfying (and almost certainly monogamous) relationship with another person is a goal most devoutly to be wished, what does Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism have to offer on these two fundamental problems. – finding the right partner and then working at the relationship so it grows and flourishes, ‘till death do us part’?

Happiness
Before answering those questions, it is important to understand that, for those practising Nichiren Daishonin’s teachings, the most fundamental relationship he or she can have is with the Gohonzon, not with another person. This is because the purpose of Buddhist practice is to establish absolute and unshakeable happiness within one’s own life, and to teach others how to do the same. Essentially this is achieved through chanting Nam myoho renge kyo to the Gohonzon. As Nichiren Daishonin states:

A woman who devotes herself to the Gohonzon invites happiness in this life; and in the next, the Gohonzon will be with her and protect her always (Major Writings, Vol.1, p.213).

He is even more direct in the Gosho Happiness in this World:

There is no greater happiness for human beings than chanting Nam myoho renge kyo… There is no greater happiness than having faith in the Lotus Sutra [Gohonzon] (Major Writings, Vol.1, p.161).

This is a difficult lesson to learn, however, living as we do in a society which places romantic love alongside wealth, fame and beauty as perhaps the most desirable of all goals. One might actually say that the real struggle in practising Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism lies in truly accepting the reality that happiness lies within your own life; in developing and revealing your Buddha nature more and more; in discovering your own unique mission in this world; and should not rely on external – and ultimately unreliable – factors like your relationship with your lover or spouse.

In fact, Buddhism has traditionally viewed romantic love with ambivalence, if not downright negativity. This is because desire – including romantic desire – is intimately and inevitably bound up with suffering. . (see ‘Basics of Buddhism, pp31-2) Only the altruistic ‘love’ for others – comparable to the compassionate love of parents for their children – is seen in a positive light. This love – called jihi in Buddhism – is best exemplified in traditional Buddhist teachings by the merciful actions of Shakyamuni Buddha, based on his desire to remove suffering and five happiness to all living beings.

All very well, you might think, but what has this got to do with the real world, where we often find it difficult to get on with our nearest and dearest, let alone feel any stirrings of compassion for ‘all living beings’? Where we fancy each other, fall in love, have affairs and one-night stands? Where we fight and scream, then kiss and make up – or break up?

The answer touches on the basic difference between the ‘traditional’ Buddhism associated with Shakyamuni and the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonin. Whereas traditional Buddhist teachings stress the necessity of trying to eliminate desire to avoid suffering, Nichiren Daishonin teaches that desire is an unavoidable and fundamental aspect of human life. Quite simply, if we had no desires we would never do anything. Even to live, for example, we have to want to go on living.

So instead of suppressing our earthly desires, Nichiren Daishonin taught that through chanting for them we can attain enlightened happiness. As he states:

When one chants Nam myoho renge kyo even during the sexual union of man and woman, then earthly desires are enlightenment and the sufferings of life and death are nirvana (Major Writings, Vol 2, p.229).

In short, what this means in the context of relationships is that, through chanting Nam myoho renge kyo to find the right partner or to improve our relationship with our existing partner, we reveal our Buddhahood. And it is this process of revealing and strengthening our Buddhahood, with its characteristic qualities of wisdom, courage, compassion and life force, which puts us on the right path towards a happy and fulfilling relationship; a relationship based on mutual respect and a deep spiritual bond, and one in which we share the same dreams, goals and aspirations as our partner. So how does this work in practice?

Why a relationship?
A good starting-point in answering this question might be to ask why one wants ‘a relationship’ – put in apostrophes, thus, because often we seem to regard this intimate connection with another human being almost as a commodity; a ‘thing’ to be desired and possessed and then, as with a car whose performance doesn’t quite match our expectations, discarded or exchanged for another. (Perhaps we should add the dominance of the values of materialism to the list of why so many relationships fail these days.)

Of course, there are many reasons why one should want a close relationship with another person: for company; for sex; for a family; for status; security, money; to be ‘grown-up’ or to escape from one’s family; for vanity – the kudos of ‘catching’ someone generally admired or desired; or the impulse to mother or lord it over another person. And then there’s the intoxicating rapture of simply falling head over heels in love – the true ‘magic’ of romantic love, where reason flies out of the window and we are borne along on a tide of passion.

More prosaically, though, our motives are usually mixed together into a vague, generalized longing for ‘a relationship’, which often seems to proceed meeting anyone ‘special’. Rather, we simply look for someone to fit the template of the ideal partner we have constructed in our minds.

One thing these motives have in common, however, is that they are directed outwards. They are based on the assumption that the other person will make us happy by filling some kind of void in our lives. This, Buddhism teaches, is a mistake.

A relationship with another person might provide many of the things listed above – stimulating companionship, a fulfilling sexual relationship and a happy, healthy family life are among the basic joys of human existence. But to base one’s happiness on it is to fail to recognize the essential instability of the situation. A lifelong companion, however wonderful, will eventually die. Even the best sexual relationship can suffer if other factors alter. And as one’s children grow and mature, their attitude towards their parents can often change for the worse.

So one of the main purposes of chanting about our attitude to relationships is to understand what lies at its root. Is it fear of loneliness? The desire to be loved because, in our heart of hearts, we are so unsure of our true worth? Or simply a restless sexual energy?

Why him? Why her?
In fact, as we chant and study the life-philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin, we can go even deeper into ourselves and begin to see and understand the pattern of our attraction to certain people. For, as Nichiren Daishonin teaches, two people who have chosen to live in a close relationship fit each other perfectly, in all their strengths and weaknesses. Describing the relationship of husband and wife in thirteenth century Japan, he says:

When a husband is happy, his wife will be fulfilled. If a husband is a thief, his wife will become one, too. This is not a matter of this life alone. A man and wife are as close as a body and shadow, flowers and fruit, or roots and leaves, in every existence of life (Major writings, Vol.1, p.146).

This observation is based on the Buddhist principle of the Ten Worlds. Buddhism teaches that all people share ten basic life conditions – Hell, Hunger, Animality, Anger, Tranquility, Rapture, Learning, Realization, Bodhisattva and Buddhahood, all of which have certain characteristics.

Hell is the world of suffering; Hunger is the world of insatiable desire; Animality is the world of the instinct. Anger is dominated by the ego, Tranquility (Humanity) by calmness, Rapture by momentary pleasure, Learning is characterized by the desire to learn from the teachings of others, Realization by the desire to improve oneself through one’s own efforts, and Bodhisattva by the exercise of compassion. Buddhahood, which is revealed through chanting Nam myoho renge kyo, acts as a kind of positive filter which brings out all of the beneficial, value-creating aspects of the other nine worlds.

Everyone tends to live predominantly in one or two of these life conditions, which, although they are displayed according to the personality of each individual, retain their basic characteristics. Thus, one person might be brash and boastful and another quietly superior, but both are exhibiting aspects of the world of Anger, the ego.

The important thing about this, as far as relationships go, is that we tend to be attracted to those people who share the same basic life condition as ourselves.

A person in the grip of Animality, for instance, will take every opportunity to indulge in instinctive pleasures – sex, food, drink, sleep – usually with little thought for the consequences of his actions. He will tend to be attracted to someone who is also in the grip of Animality, even though the object of his attentions might not exhibit all the same aspects of the life condition. For instance, both might share an appetite for sex and alcohol, but one might consistently defer to the wishes of the other in all other matters – as Nichiren Daishonin says of Animality, ‘It is the nature of beasts to threaten the weak and fear the strong’ (Major Writings, Vol.1, p.34).

Exactly how the Ten Worlds operate in individuals can be extremely subtle, and there is no space here to analyse all their various nuances. And they are by no means all bad. Each of the Ten Worlds has both negative and positive aspects (except Buddhahood, which is wholly positive), so if we are fortunate enough to be dominated by, say, the positive aspects of the world of Tranquility (or Humanity) – clear, reasoned judgement – our chances of forging a successful relationship will be much higher than if we are in the clutches of Hell, whether or not we chant Nam myoho renge kyo.

Even so, as we chant about our present and past relationships, we begin to identify which of the Ten Worlds have been dominant in them. Almost invariably, we see that we have been attracted to the same type of person, ‘chosen’ by our own dominant life state.

This pattern Buddhism calls our ‘karma’, habitual behaviour which we are bound to repeat. Take the couple described above. If the man begins to despise his partner’s weakness and continual deference – one of the very things that attracts him in the first place – he might eventually end the relationship. Being dominated by Animality, however, he is only attracted to those who share characteristics similar to the person he has just left. They might appear in a different form –this time, for instance, he might play the subservient role – but essentially he will find himself in the same kind of relationship.

Breaking the pattern.
It is to break out of the pattern imposed on us by our karma that we chant. As we do so and reflect on our actions, we begin to see our motives more clearly. And after a time (it varies from person to person), if we conclude that our attitude is based on the negative aspects of one of the Ten Worlds – especially the ‘lower worlds’ of Hell, Hunger, Animality, Anger, Tranquility or Rapture – we determine to challenge and change it, for the happiness of both ourselves and our partner (present or future).

At the same time we struggle to base our relationships increasingly on the world of Buddhahood, with its deep respect for the inherent dignity of life and for the fundamental equality of all people. For ultimately, Buddhism teaches, it is a relationship based on shared goals, respect and equality that stands more chance of enduring and growing than one based on passion, romance or unrealistic expectations of our partner’s ability to make us happy. As Nichiren Daishonin states:

Explain all this to your wife, and work together like the sun and the moon, a pair of eyes, or the two winds of a bird. With the sun and the moon, how can you fall into the path of darkness? With a pair of eyes, how can you fail to behold the faces of Shakyamuni, Taho and all the other Buddhas of the universe? With a pair of wings, you will surely be able to fly in an instant to the Buddha land of eternal happiness (Major Writings, Vol.2, p.231).

What does this mean in practical terms? First, if we are not involved with anyone at present but wish to be, it means making a strong determination to meet the right person for our happiness – which also means the right person for kosen-rufu – and then, effectively, forgetting about it. Lodged deep in our lives, the desire to meet the right person, coupled with a strong daily practice, will eventually draw that person to us when the time is right.

In the meantime, instead of being obsessed with having ‘a relationship’ and feeling sorry for ourselves that we are alone, we can concentrate on creating value in our society and growing as strong and independent individuals – who are, anyway, generally more attractive to others than those who are always desperately seeking someone.

‘The right partner for kosen-rufu’ does not mean, however, that there will only ever be one person ‘out there’ with whom we can possibly build a happy relationship, whom we somehow hunt out with our chanting; neither does it mean that he or she should necessarily be a Buddhist.

There may, in fact, be more than one person with whom we forge successful, creative relationships on the path of our human revolution towards finding our partner for life. They may or may not be Buddhists (although this would be hard with someone vehemently and consistently opposed to our practice). And even if our partner never chants, if we do our utmost to respect and support him or her in the fulfillment of his or her unique purpose in this life, he or she will respect and support us in turn, and help us fulfil our unique purpose, too.

In this context, chanting is a means of developing sufficient good fortune, through our thoughts, words and deeds based on Buddhahood, to be in the right position to meet the right person at the right time. Chanting also helps us develop enough wisdom to recognize the potential that exists in that other person (and any existing relationship we might have), and then to decide whether to act or not.

So, secondly, once we meet someone to whom we are attracted, we should chant seriously before we become romantically (or sexually) involved with him or her. We need the wisdom (and courage) of our Buddhahood to look clearly and honestly at the nature of our attraction. And if our wisdom counsels against involvement, we must listen to it – or face the inevitable consequences. Our karma to be drawn to a certain type of person may be very strong, but if we have suffered from it in the past, it is only by not succumbing to it now that we can hope to change our pattern of unhappy relationships.

Sex and ‘the learning curve’
But isn’t all this chanting before falling into someone’s arms (or bed) just frankly unrealistic? What about passion? Excitement? Romance? Does Buddhism really advocate sex only within the bounds of marriage or a life-long commitment? If we don’t become involved in the first place, how can we ever know whether or not we want to commit ourselves to this other person? And surely people learn from experience and even ‘failed’ relationships can teach us something?

These are all good questions. In addressing them, it might be useful to bear a couple of points in mind.

First, attitudes to relationships, particularly sexual relationships, vary according to the age and the culture of any society. Broadly speaking, in this country, we have alternated between eras of sexual repression and sexual permissiveness, often running the two in parallel – historically (and hypocritically), for example, there have been different standards of sexual behavior for men and women. Currently, we are going through a stage of sexual permissiveness, where many people feel that it is perfectly natural – indeed, even healthy – to have a number of different sexual partners before settling down with ‘the chosen one’, supposedly for life.

The important question – certainly in terms of Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism – is not one of morality but pragmatism. Quite simply, have our current fashions led to greater happiness? To longer, stronger relationships? The answer can hardly be an unqualified ‘yes’.

Take ‘trial marriages’ – living together before deciding to make a legal commitment. A recent study by the Office of Population Censuses and Surveys came to the startling conclusion that, of couples who married for the first time in the early 1980’s, those who had previously lived together were fifty per cent more likely to have divorced after five years of marriage – and sixty per cent more likely to have divorced after eight years of marriage – than similar couples who had not lived together.

(Photos by deviantart,photobucket)